


even in my worst light, you saw the truth of me

by houseofthedragon



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Implied Jon Snow/Ygritte - Freeform, Mild Smut, Modern Westeros, Pining, but he has a good heart, dany is a cute soft ass librarian, i'll add more tags as we go because i don't wish to spoil anything, jon is ur typical fuckboy, me vs naming most of my fics after taylor swift lyrics, we love jonno, you know how it goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houseofthedragon/pseuds/houseofthedragon
Summary: There were a thousand books around him but his eyes kept flitting back to the quiet silver-haired girl sitting behind the counter—wondering what her story was.Jon Snow had a dissertation to complete. He was not to be distracted by the pretty, mysterious, quiet but extremely kind silver-haired librarian. Absolutely not.





	1. Chapter 1

# I. The Beginning

Jon cursed under his breath as he walked through the front door, his clothes and bag drenched from the rain, the bells ringing above his head a not-so-familiar sound reminding him of how long it had been since he’d last stepped in this library. A year? Two? He remembered vaguely being in high school and that he had some stupid science project to research. But the stakes were a lot higher this time, as this dissertation was covering fifty per cent of his grade for this final semester. It didn’t make coming here any more pleasant, though.

Unlike many people, Jon hated the smell of books. He found it nauseating. And he loathed quiet places. He found silence to be unsettling. So, the culmination of these two things in the form of a building was something he entirely detested.

“Welcome to _The Wall_!” A chirpy voice called out.

He smiled despite himself. He could recognise that voice anywhere.

“Olenna,” Jon greeted, walking to the front desk.

The old woman pushed her glasses up her nose to adjust them and grinned as recognition filled her eyes. “Oh! Jon Snow. What a pleasant yet unusual visit,” she said.

Olenna Tyrell was once Jon’s middle school teacher. That was also her last job before she retired and opened this library for herself. She always used to say that she’d rather die buried in books than under the ground, although nobody understood what sense that made.

“You look good,” Jon jested as he leaned his elbow on the countertop. The place had not changed one bit. The cream-coloured walls, the chandelier above his head, hundreds of shelves lining the walls...

Olenna rolled her eyes. “I’m almost in my grave and you know it.”

“Don’t say that. You didn’t age a day.”

“Ah, stop flattering.” Olenna chuckled. “How’s your father?”

“He’s doing good,” Jon answered, smiling.

Olenna was also his father's—Ned’s teacher in high school. She pretty much taught a man in every generation of his family, this feisty woman, and the Snows all held her dearly in their hearts.

She lifted her hands up, showing Jon her bright red nails. “I just got them done,” she said, “gotta have some fun. Even in my old age.”

He laughed. “You’re absolutely right. Can you help me? I need to find some books.”

She huffed. “I can’t ruin my manicure,” she stated as if he just suggested something offensive. “Luckily for you, I have a new worker to help me around here. She’s sitting right there. She’ll help you out.”

Jon nodded. “Thanks.” He took off his wet coat and threw it over the hanger next to the door before walking in the direction Olenna pointed to.

A face peeked up from below a curtain of silver-gold hair, a pair of striking blue eyes meeting his. Jon’s heart stupidly skipped a beat because _holy fuck,_ had he ever seen a girl this gorgeous before? A cute nose, round face, big blue (and was that a hint of purple? What the fuck) irises boring into her own. He wished he was merely exaggerating but there was something quite unique about her beauty. Then the corners of her pretty mouth curved up and he realised, embarrassingly, that he'd been ogling at her like some pervert. 

Jon blinked. Once. Twice. “Hello. I’m Jon,” he said.

 _Shit. I don’t think you’re supposed to introduce yourself to a librarian, dumb ass,_ his subconscious berated him.

The girl did not seem fazed by his awkward introduction though. Her grin widened, forming adorable crinkles at the corners of her eyes. “I’m Dany,” she said, her voice as sweet as her appearance. “What can I do for you, Jon?”

He shook his head lightly as if to properly piece his messy thoughts back together, saving himself from digging a deeper hole. He was Jon Snow, for fuck’s sake. As long as he could remember, his ex-girlfriends were always the ones who drooled and stumbled on their words around him, not the other way around. He finally placed the piece of paper his professor gave him on the table behind which she was seated. “I, uh, need to find these books. Specifically _A Dance with Dragons._ Can you show me where I could get that?”

She scanned the paper before nodding to herself. “Sure,” she told him, getting up. She was as petite as he thought she would be. “Follow me.”

And he did just that. While she looked around his age, she certainly didn’t dress as such. Her grey dress was unbelievably modest for a woman this beautiful. It was loose on her, swallowing her up and making it impossible to see any curve or dip, the long sleeves hanging down past her wrists. Plus the colour was not fitting either. It was dull and unattractive, so very unlike its wearer. _Or you’re just used to Ygritte and her tight, red dresses._ He couldn’t argue with his mind on this.

 She walked him to a specific shelf and reached up, trailing her fingertips over a few books before she found what she, or he, was looking for. “Well I got _this_ one,” she murmured, handing him the book absentmindedly as she resumed her search. Finally, she turned to him and shook her head. “I’m afraid we don’t have the new edition of _A Dance with Dragons._ ”

Jon shrugged. “I could just take the old one.”

“What are you looking for, exactly?”

Jon scratched the back of his head. “I have this thesis on extinct and mythical creatures of Westeros. For my history course.”

Dany tilted her head to the side curiously. “Oh. That sounds interesting.”

He laughed at that but she remained serious. His chuckles died down. “Really? I’ve never met a girl who calls history interesting.”

She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I’ve read most of the books about dragons. I find them quite intriguing. But I can tell you that you’d like the new edition better, it covers more topics and in a more detailed way. And new books are coming in tomorrow so you’re in luck. However if you’re in a rush then I shall get you the old book now.”

Jon found himself nodding, even if he _was_ in a rush. She just seemed to know what she was talking about, her confidence alluring. “I can come again tomorrow,” he settled on. “I’ll do my best with this in the meantime,” he said, lifting the heavy book she just gave him.

She nodded in approval. “Alright. You just need to sign before you leave.”

Back to her desk, Dany handed him a pen and when her fingers accidentally brushed his, she pulled away rapidly. He glanced at her for a second before filling the form, thanking her for her aid.

Jon put the book in his bag and headed out after saying goodbye to Olenna.

Thankfully, the rain had stopped.

+

The next day, Jon came back at around the same time he did the day before.

This time Olenna was not there so he was immediately greeted by Dany herself.

She offered a smile as he walked in. “Hi,” she said.

Jon smiled back. “Hello. I’m kind of in a hurry, did you get the new edition?”

“Yes.” She looked under her desk and brought a huge book on the table, placing it on the wooden surface with a resounding thud. Jon found it very nice that she cared enough to already get the book for him.

He returned the other book as he signed the form for this one. “Thank you,” he told her.

“You found anything helpful in the other one?” she asked.

“Not really,” he admitted honestly. “I think it delves too deep in describing dragons than the actual history behind it. I wanted to learn more about how they were used in war and how they went extinct etcetera.”

She nodded thoughtfully. Jon wondered if he’d ever met a librarian who seemed to care so much about what people were looking for. Usually, they’d show you a book and wouldn’t pay you much attention afterwards. Dany looked like she wanted to _help_ him. It was oddly sweet. “But anyway, thanks again. Can I have two extra days with this?”

She still maintained a smile as she hummed pensively. “I don’t know…Olenna doesn’t play around with deadlines.”

Jon waved her off. “Tell her it’s Jon.”

“She knows you?”

“She’s a family friend.”

Dany nodded. “I’ll tell her that then. Good luck with your research, Jon.”

Jon found an easy smile spreading across his lips. He wasn’t much of a smiler but there was something so purely kind about this woman that his mood somehow lightened around her no matter what. And he’d only known her for two days.

+

“Jon Snow! Just because I like you doesn’t mean you get special treatment.”

He chuckled at Olenna’s angry scream. He put his index finger to his mouth, shushing her. “It’s a library,” he reminded her playfully.

The old woman rolled her eyes at him. “Next time return my books on time.”

“Sure,” Jon drawled. “What time you closing?”

“Seven, why?”

“I’ll just stay here to write a bit. It’s too damned loud at home,” Jon said with a sigh.

He loved his family but between Sansa’s loud singing to the songs of some new boyband she began to fancy to Rickon’s hysterical crying when he was fed, his home was the last place Jon wanted to be to begin writing his dissertation. He brought his laptop and books along, knowing he’d find much-needed peace here.

He found a nice spot in the back and as he opened his computer, his eyes involuntarily drifted to the blonde girl. She was wearing a black (as per usual, long-sleeved) dress today with a white scarf wrapped around her neck. It wasn’t even that cold outside, Jon wondered why she always wore things like that. A pen was trapped between her teeth as her eyes fixed on the book in her hands. From this distance, he couldn’t see what book it was.

When she noticed him, her usual smile came back. And then she stood up and started walking towards him. Jon shifted in his seat, wondering why she was headed this way.

"Hi Jon."

"Hey." 

"Is your research going well?" she questioned.

Jon met her eyes. "Kind of," he vaguely replied. "I'm still stuck on a few points and can't get them to flow naturally in what I'm writing. I would've liked to know a bit more about what happened between the first two rebellions."

She clicked her tongue. "I know exactly what you need."

Jon got up and trailed behind her as Dany walked to a certain shelf. Her eyes flew up as she reached to her target, standing on her tiptoes. Jon snorted at her failed attempt to get to that required height and stepped behind her to get the book himself. He caught a whiff of the perfume in her hair, something that smelled like vanilla. He stepped away from her appropriately when he got what she was pointing at. "This one?" he asked for good measure.

She nodded. "It explains how the dragons were used in both of these rebellions and what happened to the unhatched eggs in between."

His lips quirked. "Well, you're a walking encyclopedia."

Her infectious grin returned to her face and Jon found himself mirroring it. "I try to be as knowledgable as I can," she offered, folding her hands before her. "It's why Olenna hired me anyway."

"Or because she just wanted someone to do help her out when she's busy doing her nails," Jon joked in a whisper. 

Dany giggled. "You've noticed?"

He made a face. "Have you told her how horrible they look?"

She gasped. "No! I would never. They are gorgeous."

Jon raised a brow. "Are they? Are they _really_?"

She tugged her bottom lip between her sharp teeth to suppress a chuckle. She looked so adorable that it was distracting. "They are," she tried weakly. "At least _she_ feels pretty in them so who am I to judge?"

Somehow, that sentence seemed to fit her very well. This girl seemed to find the positive in everything. It was refreshing and addictive. Made him want to keep hearing her talk, keep seeing her smile.  _Weirdo,_ Jon's mind huffed. 

"Thank you for this," he said, at last, giving her a final smile before getting back to his task. 

Once seated, Jon looked back down at his screen and opened the very empty Word Document. He groaned. He pulled out the bullet points he had gathered the previous night and began typing.

Two hours passed and he was still on his third paragraph, his eyes beginning to hurt. With a tired puff of breath, he decided it was time for a break. He pulled out his phone and saw that he had three texts from Ygritte.

_Hey, where you at?_

_Oh I forgot you have that stupid thing for uni._

_Party tonight at gendry’s. x see you there_

As his fingers hovered over his keyboard for a response, a feminine voice said, “Hey. Sorry to disturb you, Jon.”

Jon looked up at Dany who was smiling down at him. “It’s fine. What is it?”

“Olenna already left and I mean to close soon because I have to be back home early. I hope you don’t mind…”

He shook his head. “Oh. Of course not. Let me just pack my stuff.”

She nodded thankfully. As he saved his work and shut down his laptop, Dany said, “So, was it helpful? The book?”

“Yes. I seriously can't thank you enough. The other one was a pain in the arse to get through but this one almost made me like reading about the rebellions.”

“Well, I disagree. The rebellions are so interesting,” she said joyfully. “Especially the _Blackfyre_ one.”

Jon thought she was only messing with him but when he looked up, he saw a genuine spark in her eyes and he chuckled to himself.

“What is it?” Dany asked.

“It’s just…I truly haven’t met someone who reads history books for fun,” he told her honestly and realised that may have sounded rude in a way. “I don’t mean…that you _can’t._ I just—I don’t know, it’s unusual.”

“Well if it makes it any less weird, I don’t just read history. I read everything.” She tucked a piece of hair that was falling down her face behind her ear.

“Explains why you work here then,” he said.

"I was surprised when Olenna said I was the first person to want to work at  _The Wall_."

"You were? I mean no offence to you but who'd willingly want to work with that stubborn old woman in a library?"

Dany frowned slightly. "I would. Jokes aside she's a sweetheart deep down. And why would anyone not want to spend their days reading and also get paid for it?"

"I don't know, for someone as young as you I don't see the appeal in such a thing."

Dany stayed quiet after that. And Jon mentally cursed himself. This girl was clearly not like people his age he knew from the outside, she was more reserved and old-fashioned. And  _fuck,_ she wasn't smiling anymore. Was what he said offensive? 

By the time Jon reached the main door, Dany was already taking her keys out to lock the place behind them. The sun had already set, the only source of light a flickering streetlamp. Jon didn’t realise he stayed this late. As he got his car keys, he noticed how Dany was hugging herself against the cold. He wasn’t much affected by it, he lived in the North before he settled down in King’s Landing and the temperatures there were low enough to freeze someone to death. King’s Landing’s winters could be considered Winterfell’s summers.

But Dany was clearly a southerner through and through, if not indicated by her accent then her inability to deal with this light breeze gave that away. The tip of her nose was bright red. Jon glanced at his phone to check for the time, knowing he had to be at the party.

 _Yet…_ he cleared his throat to gain her attention. The moment her sea-blue eyes locked on his, he asked, “where do you live?”

From the way her eyes widened, he came to the conclusion that the query sounded much better in his head. “I mean, I could drop you off. It’s late.”

She shook her head, smiling again—like she always did. “It’s fine,” she answered quietly.

“Are you sure? I'm heading to a party this way so it's really no bother.”

“I’m sure,” she stated with no further explanation.

Jon stared at her a moment longer before nodding. _Well, at least I did what any decent human would do._  

Jon got in his car after bidding her goodnight and watched her through his rear-view mirror, watched as she stubbornly walked down the street still shivering from the cold. As he turned down the road to Gendry's house, he shook his head free of this peculiar girl.

Time to party.

+

He was getting used to the odour of old books now.

Jon rummaged through some old documents, his left hand scratching his beard thoughtfully. He was getting a lot more work done here than at his house. His siblings were fighting over whose turn it was on the gaming console and the moment he heard their screams when he came home, he had groaned to himself and slipped out to come to the library again.

At some point, Dany came in barging through the door. It was the first time he saw her look this discomposed.

Jon heard Olenna scolding her, “It’s almost three. You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

Dany was breathing heavily, her hair dishevelled. Jon frowned, concentrating on the scene rather than his work. “I’m sorry,” the girl exhaled. “I’m really sorry. I got caught up in something at home.”

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again,” Olenna sneered.

Jon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She was ever so dramatic as if this library was crowded with people that she badly needed help with.

Dany muttered another apology before hurrying to her desk. In a flash, her head lifted and her gaze fell on him. A tentative smile graced her lips and he returned it. But there was something off about her. She looked, for lack of better words, distraught and unnerved. The crease in the skin between her brows hinted some sort of tension and Jon did not fail to notice how she kept tugging at her purple sleeves.

But the moment a group of students came in, she was back to her usual Dany. The big smile, bright eyes and eager helpfulness.

Distracted, he wondered if that was all an act after all. But she seemed so genuine whenever they spoke, there was not a hint of falsehood in the way she strived to help people as if her job was something holding more importance than just helping people find books. This meant a lot to her, that much could not be faked. 

If not an act then—a mask?

He returned to his essay, ridding his thoughts of this complicated woman.

But the curiosity remained, a flickering flame that danced in his stomach and that would not be extinguished no matter how hard he tried. 

There were a thousand books around him but his eyes kept flitting back to the quiet silver-haired girl sitting behind the counter—wondering what _her_ story was.

+

On his way out, he stopped by Dany's desk. 

She looked up at him and any discomfort he saw earlier when she arrived in disarray was gone now. The usual warmth flooded her face as she smiled. "Hope you had a nice day, Jon."

"My back hurts from sitting so much," he told her. "But I'm almost...a quarter done with the essay."

She laughed, a light and melodious sound. "It's still progress."

"Eh, I suppose." Since she always seemed to want to know about him, he felt like it was alright to ask, "how was your day?"

A glitter of surprise reached her pale eyes. She recovered just as quickly. "It was great. Except Olenna almost wanting my head on a spike for being a few minutes late."

He grinned. "She's a bit excessive."

"Lovingly so."

He couldn't help but probe, "I suppose you had good reasons to be late today, sometimes juggling between jobs can be a lot."

"Oh no. I only work here," she answered. "No other jobs."

He nodded slowly. "University then?" He internally cringed. "Sorry, am I being too intrusive here?"

She shook her head, chuckling. "It's fine," she assured him. "But no. I don't go to university or school anymore. I just work here to make ends meet and...," Dany trailed off for a second, a shadow passing over her face before she finished, "And I take care of my father at home. He is partly why I was late earlier."

"Ah, alright." He supposed that was it, then. He should leave...

"How was your party?"

Jon blinked at the question and then remembered that he had told her, in passing, about Gendry's party. Flashbacks of the previous night came rushing to him - the loud music, the sweaty bodies, the alcohol, the sex...a lot of it. He couldn't even remember the girls' names. As in plural. All he remembered was waking up with a headache that felt like someone was repeatedly hitting his skull with a hammer and his phone being flooded with missed calls from Ygritte. Even if she told him herself at the beginning of their relationship that they were not exclusive and could see other people, she was always the one bothered when Jon did exactly just that. _Women_....

"You know how it goes," he reflected with a slight wince at the hangover he experienced. "Seems like the best thing ever while it's happening and when you wake up wanting to throw up you're filled with regret."

This earned him a hearty laugh from her and Jon's eyes were immediately drawn back to Dany, his own lips curving as he watched the way her eyes completely disappeared behind her cheeks when she laughed like this.  _Hell._ She was seriously as adorable as a puppy or something. "No," she said when she sobered up and Jon gave her a puzzled look. "I mean, no, I wouldn't know."

"You wouldn't know...?"

"How a party and its aftermath feel like," she supplied. 

It was Jon's turn to let out a chuckle. Surely she was joking. But her expression hid no signs of dishonesty. "You've never been to a party?" he asked, incredulous. 

"Does the high school dance count?" she asked, smiling sheepishly. "That was the last party I remember going to."

"No way," he blurted. 

She was stunning and young and she'd never been to a _party_?

"Truly," she insisted. "I've just...my life has been busy ever since I left school. I never had much time for fun."

The more he spent time around her and got to see glimpses of who she was, the more confused Jon was. Nothing made sense about this girl. She was like an itch that was out of reach, begging to be scratched. But before he could try to find out more about her, his phone was ringing and it was Ygritte. He could already hear the fight they were going to have. With a grimace, he gave Dany an apologetic smile. "I have to take this. It was nice talking to you."

"You too, Jon." She smiled. "Have a good night."

Dany, her mysteries and her beaming smiles were kicked out of his brain the moment he stepped outside, answered his phone and heard the beginning of Ygritte's string of complaints. 


	2. Chapter 2

# II. Falling, Sinking.

 

“I need to know more about wolves.”

Dany raised her head to look at Jon and quirked a brow. “You’re done with dragons already?” she inquired.

She was wearing a blue dress today, which was more colour than he ever saw her wear. It brought out the striking colour of her eyes and made her appear more beautiful. Jon, on the other hand, only had time to throw on an old white tee and black jeans before he got his car out in a rush to come here. He’d woken up late—very late. Last night was a whirlwind, Ygritte came to his house and they argued for practically two hours before settling their problems in the only way they seemed to know how to: sex.

Before leaving, she told him, “We have to fix our relationship. What _are_ we?”

They were two idiots who met on campus, got drunk one last night and fucked. How they ended up here was beyond him and quite frankly, he didn’t feel anything for her more than lust. They almost never talked, Jon didn't even know her mother's name. But he knew that if he told her that she’d start yelling again and truthfully, his head was hurting already at that point so he promised her that they would speak of their relationship some other day.

After that he fell asleep, promising himself that he’d wake up at some point to work on the thesis but ended up ignoring every alarm he had set because his bed just felt too comfortable. 

Which brought him here, right now, standing in front of Dany desperate to catch up on his work. “Yes, I feel like I’ve paid too much attention to dragons already.”

“Alright, do you have any specific recommendations from your professor on what books you need or?”

Jon shook his head. “But I suppose I can trust you on this,” he said. “You said you read about everything.”

Dany grinned at that and rounded the table to get to him. “Sure but dragons are more fascinating than wolves so I read more about them. I apologise in advance if I can’t be as helpful as the other times.”

As he walked behind her, he told her, “I think wolves are equally as intriguing.”

She made a sound of disbelief from the back of her throat. “Do you?” she asked mockingly. “Fire-breathing beasts who could fly and bring destruction versus some big dogs. Are they really comparable?”

At the mention of big dogs, his own dog flashed in Jon’s mind as he gave a defensive huff. “They were as useful in war as dragons,” he declared as they stopped near the ‘History’ section. “What could stop a pack of wolves?”

Dany turned to him, an easy smile on her face as she proclaimed, “Dragons feasted on wolves and sheep alike.”

The way she said it with the fire in her eyes reminded Jon of his grandmother’s stories about a Queen who rode a dragon into battle. He cleared his head, deciding to ask her something they had often discussed in class. “Do you really believe that _Great War_ happened?”

“The one where the living fought against the dead?”

He scrunched up his nose. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know. The reports about it always differ,” she replied. “But if we’re to believe dragons existed then maybe zombies did too, don't you think?”

He laughed. “That’s exactly what I said to my classmates,” he told her. “Maybe there was some magic in the world.”

“I’d like to believe so as well. Westeros’ history is a big mess but what makes it interesting is the element of uncertainty about it. Depends on what you believe in, I suppose.”

He leaned against a shelf and gazed at her intently as she searched for his books. “I usually bore my friends to death when I speak of history but you seem entirely fascinated by it,” he observed.

She flashed him a smile before going back to the books. “I am,” she mumbled distractedly, “as I am by many other things.”

“What else fascinates you?”

“Children.”

He couldn’t help but snort at the unexpected response.

“Don’t tell me you hate kids,” she accused.

“No, not at all.” He licked his lips. “I actually want to be a teacher.”

She looked over her shoulder to give him a pleasant look. “Oh. That’s nice,” she commented. “I’ve always wished to work with children. If not here then I would’ve chosen to work in an orphanage, I just have so much love for kids.”

That much fit what he saw of her so far, the willingness to help others. Jon slowly admitted, “my father hates the idea of me becoming a teacher though.”

Dany finally made her way back to him with three books in her hands. He helped her with those and carried them to his usual table in the back of the library. Dany frowned at his words, “Why?”

“Well, he’s a lawyer and so is my brother, Robb. In fact, most men in my family ended up in politics hence me deciding to go for a History degree and become a teacher was not what he’d expected.” Jon was very close with his father but recently, they’d been fighting more and more over his career choices. While Robb was off in the North becoming one of the best lawyers and making Eddard proud, Jon was here, finishing his – as his father put it, useless – degree, getting drunk, partying…. Jon could see why Ned played favourites. 

He must have stayed silent for a long moment because when he finally looked up, Dany’s eyes were filled with sadness. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. "I wish your father could see and accept what makes you happy."

He shook his head, “No. It’s not that bad.” He wanted to see that little frown go so he rolled his eyes at her, playfully saying, “And I don’t really care what my dad says. I’ll be whatever the fuck I want to be.”

His crass words finally eased off the sorrow in her eyes and her small smile warmed his heart. “That must be nice,” she whispered.

“What?”

“To be able to do what you want to even if your father doesn’t agree,” she said the words quietly, a hint of something sombre hidden in her tone.

Jon’s eyes glazed over her face, taking in the slight furrow of her eyebrows and downturn of her mouth. Before he could question her on it, Dany blinked twice and the look was gone. Bright eyes found his again. “If I stay here I’m afraid you won’t get much work done at all. Hope these books are helpful.”

“Right,” he agreed. _You’re way too distracting._ “I’ll see what I can do with these. Thanks, Dany.”

+

It was becoming common for him to not realise the time that passed until Dany had to come and remind him that they were closing the place.

“You’re quite unusual yourself, Jon,” she remarked as he got up.

A dark brow shot up. “Am I?”

“Why do you prefer being here to work when you could be at home? And why books when you have the internet?” she prodded.

He barked a laugh. “I suppose I am unusual. Well, for the internet, I’d rather trust Westeros' history books than some unreliable sources from blogs and whatnot.” He began making his way to the main door as Dany turned off the lights, gathering her things and following him outside. “As for being at home…I have five siblings, Dany. Granted, one is not here currently but these four make up for him. It’s a bloody nightmare in there.”

Her melodious laugh rang through the lonely streets of King’s Landing. “Four siblings, huh? That sounds marvellous.”

“You’ve got to be joking. Let me guess, you’re an only child.”

She nodded.

He rolled his eyes at her. “That’s why you think having siblings is a great thing. Let me tell you, it’s not. Robb is my age like I told you, he’s a lawyer and doesn’t live here anymore. He’s moved back North, where we came from.”

“I always thought you had a Northern accent,” she remarked, smirking.

“Aye,” he said, to accentuate that and she giggled. He wanted her to keep doing that. “And then there’s Sansa.” Jon groaned, feigning some sort of physical torture. “Gods, that girl is irritating.”

“Don’t be rude!” Dany exclaimed.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Teenagers are obnoxious, alright? She’s obsessed with a new boyband each week and their music somehow gets worse each time. Arya is…tolerable. But then she and Sansa start fighting and it’s hell all over again. Not to mention Rickon and Bran, my two youngest siblings. They’re into the weirdest shit. They break stuff, build stuff. And then it’s a cycle of them fighting, my parents having to break them apart and they get punished.” Jon’s head ached just from remembering how chaotic his life at home was. “I should just move out, really.”

“If I were you I would not move out,” Dany replied quickly. “You seem to have a lovely family.”

“I just listed all the reasons why they’re the worst.”

Dany gave him a reproachful look and he finally cracked, chuckling. “No, you’re right. I absolutely love my big, noisy family,” he said honestly.

She dug her hands in the pockets of the jacket she wore, her cheeks turning pink from the cold. "I've always wanted to know what having siblings feels like," Dany said to him. "It must be fun, having best friends who are also related to you. That just makes you closer."

Jon hummed pensively. "Sure," he said. "Until it's time to use the bathroom and they're taking all the time in the world to get ready and you want to bang your head on the wall, wishing either they or you were never born."

The laugh she let out at that was so loud even a car driving by noticed, the man peeking his head out and staring at them in an odd fashion. Jon's lips curled as he looked at her, soaking in every detail of Dany's very complex laugh, something that only she could manage.

"You make me laugh so much," she choked out between giggles. 

"I'll take that as a praise," he teased.

She grinned, looking at him. "It is. It really is."

Jon knew it was getting late and he was going to miss dinner which would make his father mad because he loathed when the family didn’t dine together but he caught himself getting lost in Dany, her hair flying all over her face due to the windy conditions and the hundreds of questions he had about her, even if he had no rights to be this curious about a librarian he didn’t even know. And he just wanted to spend his whole night making her laugh because it made his chest lighten in a way he hadn't felt in so long. He questioned, “what about your family? You only live with your father, right?”

She did not like to speak about herself. Her posture constrained, eyes distant. It was so weird to him, how someone this cheerful and eager to know more about _everything_ did not like talking about herself. And gods, that only made him want to know more. She met his eyes. “My mother died a while ago,” she finally answered.

His mouth parted. “Oh, I didn’t—I’m sorry.”

She smiled sympathetically. “I live with my father. Alone. No annoying siblings singing, fighting or breaking stuff. But trust me, it’s not what you think. Peace doesn’t mean to get rid of those things. Peace is knowing you’re safe and loved.”

The way she stopped talking gave Jon a bad feeling. As if to say that she didn’t feel peace in her own home. Was she not safe and loved? “I should get going,” she said before he could dwell on her words.

He blinked away from her. And cleared his throat. “If I ask to drop you home again…”

“I’ll say no,” she answered, eyes twinkling, “again.”

He sighed. “Good night, Dany.”

“Good night.”

+

He didn’t have to be here today.

It was Friday afternoon and he was already halfway done with his essay. He had gathered enough information to finish the piece before handing it over next week after a well-needed session of proofreading. Hence, Jon Snow did not have to be back to _The Wall._

He could be with Ygritte right now. He could’ve asked her out to the club, they could be dancing at this moment—then getting drunk and most likely fucking. Or he could have called Gendry, his best friend, and asked him if he wanted to go for a drive or play badminton with him.

This was his day off. No classes at university, no reasons for him _not_ to be spending time with his friends.

He couldn’t explain the reason why he was currently at this fucking library to himself so he’d never be able to explain it to someone else. Thank heavens nobody asked since no one knew he was here. If his subconscious was a person, he'd be kicking Jon in the balls right now. Why was he here— _willingly_? He had hundreds of other things to do, hundreds of other plans that would be way more interesting than walking through this godforsaken door and being greeted by Olenna’s smiling face but here he was, doing exactly just that. Gods. There was something wrong with him.

Even the old woman looked confused. “Son,” she said, “this thesis must really be eating you alive if you come here every day.”

He felt a hot rush of embarrassment crawling under his skin because, _fuck_ , he didn’t have to come here today. He had no books to return, no books to take and no need to sit around typing on his laptop. He was just…here. “It is,” the lie slipped past his lips easily, “it’s frustrating how much work I need to get done.”

At the sound of childish laughter, his head whipped to the source and his heart did some stupid kind of flip in his chest. _This._ This was why he was here, she was why he was here. Dany was kneeling on the floor next to a toddler, books sprawled on the ground around them. Her hair was loose and flowing freely down her shoulders and back, a smile brightening her features as she mussed the kid’s mop of dark curls.

“That’s my granddaughter’s son,” Olenna explained. “She was busy today and asked me to babysit for her but hey, I got myself a better babysitter.”

Jon nodded, his eyes fixed on the pair on the floor, watching as the little boy tugged at Dany’s silver hair and she jokingly winced loudly at him which made him laugh. Jon didn’t realise he was smiling to himself until she looked up at him.

He was walking towards her before he knew it.

“Jon,” she greeted in a pleasant tone.

“Jon!” the kid repeated excitedly.

Dany giggled at that and, well, he found that way more adorable than the actual child. Gods, he might already be fucked.

“What can I help you with today?” she asked.

For a second, his mind blanked. Completely. “Uh,” he tried, scanning his brain for something—anything. “ _Wargs_.”

She frowned at him. “What?”

“You know, apparently some people could… _warg_ into animals. I was…wondering about that.” It was only a half-lie, he told himself. He did also want to include this in his work but he didn’t come here for this reason at all.

Still, Dany believed him, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. She did this often when she was thinking really hard, he noticed. “Hard topic,” she admitted. “I think we have only one book about these if I remember correctly.”

He felt bad. Here she was, having a good time with this little boy, and he was disturbing her for something he didn’t really need because, what, he just wanted to see her?

But, yes, in all honesty, he couldn’t get her out of his mind for the past few days they hadn’t seen each other. He thought of her and that damned smile, contagious laugh and her mysterious aura. It didn’t help that he found her drop-dead gorgeous and that last night, in his drunken state, Ygritte’s red hair had morphed into something as pale as moonlight as she got on her knees and took him into her mouth. That was not the most embarrassing part – that he was fucking fantasizing about a librarian – but how fast he came after that, Dany's name burning a hot trail on the tip of his tongue. He was so humiliated by it afterwards he almost didn’t sleep.

Why she intrigued him so, he couldn’t tell. But she did.

And that was how he found himself spending his Friday afternoon in a library, reading a book that he had no interest or reason to read, just so he could occasionally look up at the beautiful girl who captured his attention without meaning to.

He knew he had to do something to stop _this_ from spiralling out of control.

+

As per usual, they were left alone when Olenna had to go back home and she took her great-grandson with her, ordering Dany to close behind her.

“What did you find out about _wargs,_ Jon?”

Jon wasn’t sure he even learned something about them since he was too busy staring at her playing with that kid. “That it’s a power I wish I had,” he replied instead, a playful answer that served as a loophole.

She was working down the shutters as she laughed at his answer. “Why on Earth would you want to put yourself in an animal?”

“Seven hells, when you say it like that it’s fucking gross,” he said, faking a gag.

This made her laugh louder and he basked in the pretty sound. She finally turned to him, still beaming happily. “Then what do you mean?”

“Well, for instance, I would’ve liked knowing what my dog feels like. Again, not in a disgusting way.”

“Your dog?”

“Yes. I have a dog. His name is Ghost.” He took his phone out even if she didn’t ask because dog owners love showing off their dogs, it’s quite instinctive. He showed her a picture of his big, white ball of fluff and Dany let out a delighted gasp. She leaned against his arm to get a better look at the screen and Jon’s heartbeat accelerated at their proximity.

“He’s so beautiful,” she said in awe. “And so big.”

“Yes. He’s huge.” Even Jon smiled fondly at pictures of Ghost.

As he slid his thumb to the right to show her more pictures of his dog, a picture of Arya and Sansa showed up. Since Dany already saw it, he explained, “uh, these are my sisters.”

“The ones who always fight?”

“Yes. This is Sansa—” he pointed to the tall redhead sticking her tongue out to the camera, “and Arya.” His little sister had her arms crossed, pouting.

When she failed to voice out a reaction to that, he looked down at her. While her eyes were on his phone, she seemed like she was worlds away from him—lost. But there was a smile on her face, only now it looked sad. _She_ looked sad. “Dany,” he said softly and when she finally met his eyes, he asked, “is everything alright?”

She shrugged, nodding. “Yes, why do you ask?”

“You just….” He didn’t know how to explain, did not know how to put it into words. Still, he attempted, “you’re always very happy but I can’t help but feel like there’s something…wrong.”

“You think there’s something wrong with me?”

He widened his eyes. “What? No. Gods… _no_.” He licked his lips, wishing he sucked less at coming up with good words. “Not with you but—” he stopped himself, sighing. After a beat, he resumed, “Is everything okay at home?”

Her smile melted off. Dany avoided his eyes after that. “I’m fine, Jon,” she answered after what seemed like a lifetime. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“No, I don’t,” he said. _But I do._

She took a step towards him and Jon held his breath. When she touched his arm, he could feel the heat of her skin seeping past his sleeve and burying under his skin. “You and I are very different people with very different lives,” she told him.

He didn’t understand but that felt an awful lot like some sort of rejection. Her eyes lingered on his for a few more seconds before she dropped her hand, offered him one last smile and walked away. 

+

After that encounter, Jon had no interest in trying to find out more about Dany. Alright, that may be a lie, perhaps he was still a bit curious deep down but he refused to act on it anymore. She was no problem of his, why should he make her one? Gods knew he already had enough trouble with the women in his life, he would be a fool to want one more added to that long, long list.

But still, he had to go back there on the day before submitting his work since he felt like he got some dates mixed up.

 He hadn’t been back to the library in a week and he didn’t know why it felt like such a big deal to face Dany again. They were nothing to each other and it’s not like they fought the last time they saw one another. Still, the prospect of being around her again made Jon feel weird on the inside.

To mend this, he nonchalantly asked Gendry and Ygritte to accompany him there.

“What?” Gendry said, yawning. “Why do you wanna go to _The Wall_? That place sucks, man. It’s boring.”

“It’s a library. Of course, it’s boring, idiot,” Jon deadpanned in response. “I need to fix some things in my thesis. I need it to be perfect.”

They were in Gendry’s car, riding to yet another nightclub where Jon knew how his night would end. If he were to be fully honest with himself, he was not all that fond of this lifestyle. But he was in university and he had to fit in a group. Gendry had become his best mate from the moment they’d met and Jon had unwittingly chosen the way he would live through these three years.

“I’m glad I’m a girl,” Ygritte said from the backseat, her eyes glued to her phone. “At least a nice pair of tits can save you from boring essays.”

Now, this was what he didn’t understand about Ygritte. She’d talk, very openly, about fucking other guys—even now insinuating she was having sex with her professors—but she’d reach the climax of a jealous rage whenever he did the same.

He figured he should put an end to whatever there was between them because it drove him mad more than anything.

“Good for you. I don’t have tits so brains will have to do,” Jon announced dryly. “I need to do my best on this,” he added, more to himself than his friends. He wanted to prove Ned wrong—that Robb wasn’t the only one who could make him proud.

They were then headed for the library, even as Ygritte whined that she’d rather be at the club already.

“It’ll be quick,” he promised them as they entered.

Olenna smiled at him. “Snow,” she said. “Good to see you again.”

“Great to see you as well,” Jon replied, flashing her a smile before he walked in.

And then his steps faltered.

Dany was leaning on her palm, her eyes on the book before her. When she heard their presence, pale blue eyes looked up, clashed into his dark ones and his stomach folded in on itself. A smile—that damned smile which seemed to hold the power of every ray of sunshine ever—formed on her lips.

“Hey look, there’s a section for sex books,” Jon heard a voice behind him and his Dany-induced spell was broken. He forgot he brought these two idiots with him.

Gendry and Ygritte laughed as they headed for the ‘sex books’ and Dany merely glanced at them before looking back to Jon. She was so bloody beautiful it hurt. He wasn’t aware why he found her so pretty, but he did, even when she wore no make-up and was once more draped in some lousy floral dress. Jon had always been attracted to fierce women like Ygritte, who was confident and sexy, the embodiment of sin. And Dany was none of that—so it annoyed him why he was so infatuated by this woman.

“Jon,” she greeted him friendlily. “How have you been?”

He forced a smile. “Good, thanks. You?”

“Great,” she’d answered. “Is there anything I could do for you today?”

“No, I think I’ll manage. I just need to check a few things I might’ve gotten wrong,” he answered.

It was probably just his imagination but he could swear he saw a flicker of disappointment in her lovely irises at his refusal for her aid. Her genuine smile never left her face as she nodded.

Jon got what he was looking for and he, Gendry and Ygritte sat down at a table while Jon flipped through the pages of this book, taking his phone out to capture whatever information he deemed important.

He glared at Gendry and Ygritte who wouldn’t stop snickering over the book they had brought with them.

“You guys are children,” Jon said, annoyed.

Ygritte bit her lip to contain her giggles. “Look! This is a guideline for blowjobs, how great is that?”

Gendry planted his hand over his mouth.

“Okay, I have to be honest…this has always been one of my fantasies,” Ygritte told them, “Fucking in a library. How sexy is that?”

“No!” Gendry yelped, laughing.

“Seriously! Imagine going down on someone behind those shelves,” the red-haired girl pressed, snorting at her own words.

Jon was not amused in the slightest. But his traitorous mind went somewhere he knew he shouldn’t have gone. Dany, pressed up against one of those shelves, tugging at his hair as he kissed his way down her stomach, the sounds she’d make, her moonlit hair tickling him—

The images were so vivid and appeared so frantically in his mind that he didn’t even have time to feel shame. He simply blinked them away and swore that he was merely lacking sleep, his mind playing weird tricks on him.

Jon didn’t even see Dany coming but the next moment, she was standing next to their table. With a kind smile, she said, “I would hate to disturb you guys…” she let her eyes linger on Jon particularly before moving back to his obnoxious friends, “but I have to ask you to please be quieter. There are other students here.”

A glance over his shoulder and Jon did indeed see a group of kids glaring at them. He sighed. “Sorry, Dany,” he said as he faced her again, giving her a little smile. “My friends can be dicks sometimes.”

“ _Dany_?” Gendry echoed and raised an eyebrow. “You two know each other?”

Dany was the one to answer, “Jon has been coming here often for his dissertation. I try to help him the best I can.”

For a brief second, Jon cursed Dany and her innocence, her inability to see that his friends were jerks and she just fed them crucial data that would bring out the assholes in them. Gendry was the first one to react, letting out a low whistle. “Oh I’m sure you _helped_ him alright,” he drawled on, suggestively, “I knew there had to be another reason why Jon wanted to come here today.”

Jon clenched his jaw. “I came here for this—” he pointed at the book. “Piss off, Gendry.”

Ygritte tapped her nails on the table, glancing between Jon and Dany. He mentally cursed himself for having thought that bringing them here was a good idea. “Dany,” Ygritte said, in a mocking voice filled with fake sweetness. “Is that your real hair?”

Subconsciously, Dany touched the ends of her pale hair. “Yes,” she answered, almost shyly.

“Really?” Ygritte gasped exaggeratedly. “Well, fuck. I’d love to rock some platinum hair myself.”

Jon exhaled tiredly. “Ygritte,” he said pleadingly.

Her sharp eyes met his as she tilted her head to the side. “What? I’m just getting to know your friend.”

“She’s not my friend,” Jon snapped at her. “Leave her alone.”

Dany shifted on her feet uncomfortably and Jon’s heart twisted. She didn’t deserve to have to deal with these fools.

“Oh, please. I’m just getting to know her. Just like you did, apparently, since you’ve been coming here a lot.” There was bitterness in her voice and whenever Ygritte was bitter—it never ended well. She gave Dany an innocent smile. “Where’d you get that dress?”

Jon shook his head to himself in irritation. Dany glanced down at herself before answering, “I sewed it myself.”

“Should’ve guessed,” Ygritte muttered under her breath and Gendry snorted.

By that point, Jon had seen enough. He pushed his chair away and got up. “Are you serious right now?” he asked Ygritte.

“Jon,” Dany said quietly, her voice soothing him in inexplicable ways. “Please, I just wanted you guys to be quiet.”

But Ygritte was also up and there was a dangerous glint in her eyes, the same spark that appeared before every fight. “What? Is this what you’re into now?” She looked at Dany in such a disgusted way that Jon’s rage surged up once more. “Some lowlife in grandma clothes?”

Jon’s tether of control snapped in half and he was practically in her face the next second, if not for Gendry pushing him back. “You’re a bitch,” he snarled at Ygritte and _gods,_ it felt good to say it. Because she was. “How’s this for you, huh? I never want to see you again.”

Ygritte’s whole face burned red. “You can’t dump me!”

“I can’t,” Jon agreed, “because we were never dating in the first place. I wish you’d gotten that through your thick head.”

“That’s not fair!” she cried.

“Woah, woah, woah.” A new voice cut in, sharp and angry. Jon turned his head to find Olenna heading towards them. “Can you tell me what’s going on here?”

“Fuck you,” Ygritte sneered at Jon and shoved past Olenna to go out.

The old woman narrowed her eyes at Jon. “Get out of here, both of you,” she ordered.

Gendry huffed and made his way out and Jon followed, lamely, embarrassed by what had just happened. But mostly, ashamed that Dany had to deal with this because of him. He looked back to find her and she stood there, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. Blinking at him, she turned back and went to her desk.

+

He couldn’t sleep that night, the guilt in his chest growing claws and fangs and quite literally eating him alive.

The moment he got up, he had to go back there to apologise. He didn’t care if he was late for his classes, he had to get rid of the sickening snakes in his stomach or he wouldn’t be able to go on with his day. He bought a bouquet of flowers.

Olenna was not happy to see him. For the first time in his life, she did not even bother faking a smile as he walked inside.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she said in a clipped voice.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted right away. “I know we caused a scene and I know how ugly it was, I really do apologise.”

Olenna stared at him for a few more seconds before she sighed in defeat. “You know I can’t resist those cute eyes of yours,” she said and Jon cracked a grateful smile. “Just…don’t bring these people here again. I’m serious. Especially that foul-mouthed girl.”

Jon chuckled. “I swear.” He licked his lips as his eyes scanned the place, no signs of—

“She’s in the Philosophy section,” Olenna murmured, nonchalantly averting her gaze to the newspaper she was reading.

Jon nodded and made his way there. Dany’s back faced him. She seemed to be in the middle of arranging books, her long silver hair moving along with her limbs.

He cleared his throat and she turned to him with a start before quickly exhaling. “You scared me,” she said.

The apologies began tumbling out of his throat before he could even properly plan what he was going to say. “I’m so sorry for the way my friends acted yesterday,” he said, slowly taking a few steps forward. “I’m sorry for how I acted then, too. But gods, Dany, I can’t believe Ygritte spoke to you like that. You have every reason to be furious at me right now and I would understand, I just want you to know how bad I feel about it.” He awkwardly pushed the bouquet of white roses towards her. “I, uh, didn’t know if you liked flowers but I felt like I should get you something so….”

She took them from his hands and smiled. “Thank you, Jon. They’re lovely.”

He waited expectantly but nothing more came. “Are you not mad?” he asked.

“No, it’s fine.” She brushed it off.

He found himself shaking his head. “It’s not,” he said. “She was an absolute bitch—”

“Jon,” she warned him, in that c’mon-be-nice voice of hers.

“—No, she was!” he exhaled roughly. “You _should_ be angry.”

He was frustrated because anyone else would be seething right now but Dany was ever so calm, still managing to smile at him after what happened the previous day. It made him feel shittier. Anger was better than this sinking feeling at the pits of his stomach.

“Why do you want me to be angry?” she inquired softly, “It’s useless.”

“It’s not useless,” he said, aware that he was merely two feet away from her now. He tried to keep his voice low. “For god’s sake, Dany, people get angry when shitty things happen. It’s normal. You’ll feel good afterwards if you shout at me right now or something.”

She eyed him weirdly. “You want me to yell at you?”

“Yes,” he said—even if it was illogical, this would help more than her soft voice that was beginning to haunt him every single day now.

Her back pressed into the shelf behind her and the books above her head shook lightly. Jon was a few inches away from her now and he let his eyes trace the curves of her face, the apples of her cheeks, the jut in her chin and her heart-shaped lips.

She met his eyes. “I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t feel the need to be angry,” she stated.

He sighed. “What does that even mean?” He couldn’t figure her out and it was driving him insane. “You’re always like this. So bloody nice it makes me go mad.”

She stared at him evenly. “My mother used to say that you should always treat people the way you wish to be treated,” she told him, “and that if you show enough kindness then one day the world will return the favour.” She dropped her eyes. “I’m waiting for that day.”

Once more, he couldn’t figure out what she meant. “The flowers are truly beautiful,” she added and Jon watched as she ran her fingertips over the petals. “Thank you, Jon.”

He closed his eyes as she made her way around him to leave.

But she spoke again, “You should forgive your girlfriend.”

Jon whipped his head in her direction. “She’s not my girlfriend,” he clarified. “And she didn’t ask for forgiveness. Even if she did, I wouldn’t give it to her.”

Dany pinched her brows together. “I don’t know much about relationships,” she started, “but I could see that she cares for you for how angry she got at the idea of you leaving her.”

Jon scoffed. Ygritte’s pride was touched, not her heart. He knew he could find her in the arms of another man right at this instant but Dany was too naïve to see this. Even now, she remained sweet. And was asking him to forgive the girl who insulted her to her face.

“I’m sorry but I’m not you, Dany,” he informed her with a morose smile before he left.

+

He admitted it to himself late at night—when it was only him in his bed, his mind wandering back to _Dany,_ her smiles, her warmth, her laugh and every little thing he failed to understand about her.

He liked her.

He didn’t know why, exactly, or where it came from but he just felt different around her. Not the guy he was with Gendry or Ygritte or the other people around him. A good kind of different and he wanted more of it.

Jon didn’t even regret not answering Gendry’s calls tonight. Or how he’d been ignoring Ygritte ever since the incident. He was not out partying or getting drunk but lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Dany. It was absurdly stupid. He was not some teenager with an obsessive crush but, _gods_ , he felt like one.

+

When he went back to _The Wall_ the next day after having gathered his courage to ask her out, Dany wasn’t there.

+

It was the fifth day now.

Olenna groaned at the sight of him. “Again?”

“Where is she?” Jon asked, a hint of despair in his voice. “It’s been five days, Olenna.”

“Well let me tell you if she shows up again she’s getting fired, so,” she answered, rolling her eyes.

Jon’s guts tightened. “Don’t you have her number? Address? Something?”

Olenna narrowed her eyes at him. “Even if I had, I wouldn’t give anything to you. Dammit Jon Snow, are you this in love?”

“I’m not in love,” Jon grumbled, his heart thumping at the idea. “I just wanted to talk to her. But she’s never here anymore.”

“Maybe she got bored,” Olenna supplied. “And didn’t want to do this anymore.”

“No, she loves it here,” Jon insisted.

She sighed. “Then keep your hopes high. Perhaps she’ll be back soon.”

+

And then she was back.

The next day, Jon’s heart jumped victoriously at the sight of silver-blonde hair. Olenna gave him a knowing smirk as he passed her.

“Dany,” he breathed out.

She looked up and her face mouth into a huge grin, the kind that took over her entire face. He didn’t know if he wanted to kiss her or hug her but he calmed both of these unbidden urges and settled for a smile of his own. “Where have you been?” he couldn’t help but ask.

She wet her lips. “My father fell sick and I had to look after him,” she told him. “Thank gods Olenna was nice enough to excuse my absence.”

“I’m sorry about your father. Is he alright now?”

“He’s doing much better, thank you for asking.” She leaned forward. “How are you? What brings you here?”

His stomach did a flip. Right. Why he was here….

“Still not done with that essay?” she asked.

“No, no. I’ve already submitted the dissertation,” he admitted.

Now she quirked a perfectly shaped brow at him, questioning his intentions. “What is it then? Have you come here because you want to read for fun?”

“Not exactly….” _Fuck. How was he so good at talking to girls, again?_ “Look, I really like talking to you, Dany.”

“So do I,” she said, eyes twinkling. “You’re the closest thing to a friend I have here.”

Jon internally grimaced. A friend. She was friend-zoning him before he could even ask her out. But knowing Dany and how her view of things was different, he was aware she didn’t mean it like that. At least he hoped so. “I was wondering if you’d, you know, like to go out with me sometime.”

“Go where?”

“Out.” He paused. “On a date.”

She froze, even her smile dropping.

Jon’s stomach churned. In the wrong way. Dany blinked several times before saying, in a hushed voice, “I’m not going to have sex with you.”

_What the fuck?_

“What?” he voiced out.

“This is what people do, right?” she mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear, “Go on dates and have sex.”

“No.” He swallowed. “I mean, yes, _sometimes_ —I don’t know. But that’s not why I’m asking you out.”

“Then why are you asking me out?”

“Because I want to get to know you,” he told her truthfully. “I like you, Dany.”

She blushed at his words and his heart did a little dance that it seemed to have learned just for her. “How can you like me?” she asked in a whisper, not meeting his eyes.

He shrugged. “You’re smart, funny and kind. Not to mention pretty. I just like myself around you.”

Her cheeks were a lovely, darker shade of pink now. He wondered if someone ever gave her such compliments and didn’t know if he should be proud of being the first one or disappointed that no one before him told her all these things. She shook her head lightly, “Your girlfriend…”

He groaned. “Ygritte’s not my girlfriend,” he said for the second time. Cringing, he continued, “We were…friends with benefits, you could say.”

She looked up questioningly. “You were what?”

Jon chuckled. “Doesn’t matter,” he told her softly.

Dany twirled her fingers together. "You must be mistaken about whatever you think I am..."

“I'm not mistaken about the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about you." Dany's breath hitched at that and he wondered, his heart thrumming, whether she thought of him too. "I don’t know why. You’re just not like everyone else.”

The last sentence was meant to be something positive but she stiffened at that, going still. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she told Jon, “I _am_ not like everyone else. You don’t really know me at all. You and I are very different.”

“Well, opposites attract.”

Seven fucking hells.

He wanted to bury himself alive for this lame line.

Dany laughed. “That was bad,” she said.

He nodded, his cheeks heating up. He was a mess around her, not as smooth as he was with almost every other girl he’d ever encountered. Perhaps that’s why he liked her and the imbalance she brought to him.

“I’ve never even been on a date before,” she declared and Jon was mind-blown by this. “I don’t know, Jon, you probably don’t really want this. I’ve never done this before, I won't be good at it.”

Somehow her nervousness and shyness only made him want her more. He craved it, now, the idea of taking her out and being her first date. He reached for her hand which rested on the table and squeezed her fingers just a bit. “I swear this is what I want,” he promised. "And I know I'll like you just as much at the end of our date, even if it turns out to be a disaster."

Dany’s big blue eyes were a sea of emotions now as she quietly chortled. “You don’t know that,” she countered, just as softly.

Jon’s heart lurched. “Let me be the judge of it,” he pleaded. “One date, Dany. If you hate it then we stop right away. We’ll never know if we don’t try.” He was putting all of his best phrases out there for her because she intrigued him so and made him feel things – good things – he hadn’t in a long time now. He knew he’d regret it if he didn’t at least try.

She finally squeezed his fingers back, her thumb tracing the flesh over the top of his hand, the movement setting his heart ablaze. “One date,” she decided.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i accidentally deleted this fic from my computer and had to re-write this last part. that was not fun lol. i'm sorry for the delay. hope you enjoyed this even if i wish i had the original third chapter which was a lot better since i wrote this a while ago and i feel like i've not been able to reproduce the exact ending but :( whatever i guess, i hope this is still good. x

# III. My One And Only, My Lifeline. 

“Is she pretty?”

“Shut up, Arya! It’s very rude to judge a woman based on her appearances in the twenty-first century. There’s more to girls than how they look, don’t you know? Jon is allowed to like someone based on more than just the exterior.”

“What does that even mean? _Ugh_. I only asked a question! Jon, is she pretty?”

“Stop! Qualifying a woman's worth—”

Jon groaned loudly, “Please. Shut up. Both of you.”

Arya and Sansa were on his bed, sitting cross-legged as they watched him get ready for his date. A silly smile touched his lips as he thought of it. His _date._ How long had it been since he’s taken a woman out, just for the sake of it, not expecting to hook up afterwards? (Well, he wouldn’t _mind_ if it led to hooking up but he genuinely wanted to take Dany out, make her smile and laugh and get to know her. Gods, maybe he was already far too gone for this girl.)

“What’s her name?” Arya asked.

“Dany,” Jon answered.

“Is that short for something?” Sansa asked.

He frowned a bit. He never asked. “I don’t know,” he told her truthfully.

“Does she have an annoying sister like we do?” Arya demanded.

Sansa gasped and threw a pillow at her face. “You’re the annoying sister!”

As the two began to fight, Jon tried his best to block it all out and focus on appearing the best he could for today. Dany said she couldn’t be out at night so as much as he wished to take her to dinner, lunch would have to do. A leather jacket, a grey shirt and a pair of black jeans were what he decided to wear. He tied his hair back and grabbed his keys, leaving the house with his sisters’ screams echoing behind him.

+

Dany was a vision. She braided the top of her silver-blonde hair, the rest of it tumbling down in soft waves. She seemed to be wearing a thin coat of pink lipstick, the faintest touch of makeup on her face. Her long-sleeved red dress looked silky to the touch and Jon’s fingers itched at that thought, wondering what it would feel to run his fingertips upon it.

Olenna cleared her throat. Jon snapped out of it. “Well, go,” she hissed at Jon.

He chuckled and finally went to Dany, who stood up right away, her own eyes doing a quick scan of his frame. He tried not to fidget as her pale eyes finally met hers, her pretty smile on. “Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he breathed out. He was nervous. He didn’t know why.

She fiddled with her sleeves, biting her lip. “Well….”

“Well, we should go,” he suggested, smiling at her adorable anxiousness.

She nodded and Jon offered his arm. Dany looked down for a second, unsurely, before she stepped closer to him and looped her arm with his. She smelled of something sweet and edible, the side of her body pressing against his ever so gently.

He guided her to his car and even as he drove, Dany remained uncharacteristically quiet.

“What is it?” he asked her.

He felt her eyes on him even as his remained on the road for safety reasons and sensed her shifting next to him.

“I just feel like I’ll mess this up,” she muttered.

Jon chuckled. “You won’t.”

“I don’t know how to do _this_.”

“I don’t care,” he answered frankly, “I don’t think there’s anything you could do that will mess up this date.” _I don’t think there’s anything you could do to mess up what I feel for you._

When she did not answer, Jon blindly reached for the hand that was resting on her knee. She froze, for a second, as he lightly rested his palm over the back of her hand, giving her the opportunity to move her hand away.

She didn’t.

+

He took her to a coffee shop because he didn’t know whether to cross the line of ‘fancy date’ or stay in the ‘comfortable date’ spot. He figured Dany wasn’t the type of woman to want him to book a five-star restaurant with a view of the sunset and soft classical music playing on a piano as they ate the most expensive stuff ever. He would take her there gladly, for sure, he would take her to all the fancy places in this city if she wished. But he had a feeling she did not want that so for a first date, he settled for simplicity.

Dany’s smile could compete with the sun itself when they sat down, a sweet aroma filling his nostrils. “This is a lovely place,” she told him.

All he could see was her, though. Even if the coffee shop was nice, his view was the best. Dany sitting right across him, her long hair falling over the table, her soft eyes sparkling in happiness…. “It is,” he finally answered.

Dany looked at him. “So, what do people usually do on dates?”

He hummed. “They talk.”

She rested her chin on her hand, looking at him with her pretty blue eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Earlier my sister made an interesting remark about you.”

“You’ve told your sister about me?”

“Sisters. They’re always full of questions, these two, I wouldn’t have been able to leave the house without answering some of them.” He licked his lips. “Anyway, Sansa asked if Dany was short for something.”

Dany nodded. “It’s short for Daenerys.”

“Daenerys.” His fading Northern accent still managed to butcher the intricate name, but at least it made Dany quietly laugh so that was nice. “That’s a mouthful. No wonder you want people to call you Dany.”

“Yeah. And Daenerys is not associated with good memories,” she admitted.

Jon nodded carefully.

“How old are Sansa and Arya?” she asked.

“Sansa’s sixteen, Arya nine.” He watched as she smiled fondly, she seemed to love when he talked of his family but he wanted to know about hers too. “Enough about me. Tell me about you, Dany.”

 A waiter came forward to take their orders. Dany decided to have pancakes and a strawberry milkshake and since that was a combination too sweet for Jon, he opted for black coffee and doughnuts.

When the boy walked away, she finally met his eyes once more. “What do you want to know about me?”

 _Everything._ “Whatever you wish to tell me.”

“Alright, I grew up in Essos but we moved to King’s Landing when I was very young so I don’t really remember anything from that city. I remember our house had a red door.” She paused to think. “My favourite subject in school was Math.” Jon cringed at that and she laughed. “When I was ten, I had a frog.”

“A frog?”

“Yeah, I loved unconventional pets.” She made a face. “But one day he ran off and never came back.”

“Sounds traumatising,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes at him. She told him a few other weird things about her—her love for silent films and phobia of heights. Jon liked listening to her talk, could do it the whole day. At some point, the conversation took a serious turn and she began talking about her mother, Rhaella. “My mother…she died when I was sixteen.”

Jon’s heart twisted. Because he wasn’t expecting her to speak about this. He swallowed before daring to ask, “How?”

Dany looked down. “Car accident.”

Jon wished to reach out for her but he didn’t know if that would be appropriate so he restrained himself from doing so. His heart was heavy for her.

“And it happened because of me.”

He would’ve missed that if he wasn’t staring at her, listening attentively. Blinking in shock, he said, “What do you mean?”

“There was this…stupid thing at school. Some trip to the mountains or whatever. And I was having a hard time fitting in with the kids so I knew that this was my chance to make new friends and do something all the cool kids were doing. I asked my mother about it before she was heading to work one morning and she refused.” Dany blinked rapidly and he could see the faint outline of tears collecting in her eyes. “She said it was dangerous and that she didn’t like the idea of me going camping alone because anything could happen in the woods. She was always so protective of me but, you know, being sixteen and all…you don’t really care for that. All I knew was that everyone else’s parents were letting them go except mine. And as a teenager, there's little that annoys you more than your parents saying no to something." Dany blinked the tears away but to no avail, for her eyes got wet again. "Our fight got ugly. Really, really ugly. I said things I didn’t mean.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Things I could never take back because she never returned home.”

This time, Jon did reach across her table to grasp her hands. Her tiny, soft and trembling hands. They were cold underneath his and a lump formed in his throat at the sight of her crying. “You could not have known,” he told her gently. “I hope I don’t have to tell you that. That it wasn’t your fault.”

“She was always so kind,” she continued. “She never wanted to fight. And her last memory of me was us fighting over something so bloody _dumb_.” Her voice cracked on the last word as she swallowed a sob.

“Dany, you were young. People fight with their folks all the time, hell, I would know. I fought with my father yesterday over the TV.” He was glad to find a trace of a small smile. He interlaced their fingers, hoping his touch could comfort her. “I’m sure your mother loved you wholeheartedly and would _never_ blame you for what happened.”

“She was upset because of me. I could’ve been the reason why she was driving fast, I could’ve been why she was distracted.”

“None of that changes that you could not have known,” he repeated firmly.

“You really don’t think it’s because of me?” she questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

Jon fell silent for a moment, not because he was unsure of his answer—no, he knew very well that it was not _her_ fault her mother died in such an unfortunate way—but because the way Dany asked him that question made it obvious that she was forced into believing that she indeed was what killed her mother. And that thought sickened him beyond words. When her eyes found his, he shook his head. “No,” he said, not hiding the incredulousness in his voice. “It’s _not_ your fault.”

They broke apart when their lunch arrived. Dany quickly wiped at her eyes and gave Jon a sheepish smile. “See, I’m crying at a date. I told you I was bad at this whole thing,” she said. “Do you regret it yet?”

“No,” he answered truthfully. “You’ll have to try harder to make me regret taking you out.”

+

The rest of their date went just as great. They dropped the heavy topics for lighter ones, he told her about the many funny and fucked up things his family did and brought tears to her eyes again—only this time, it was from laughter.

Jon was right about his feelings for Dany. He liked being around her, he liked speaking to her and hearing her thoughts. It made him realise what his relationship with Ygritte lacked: understanding. Sex is great, he couldn’t deny that much, but being able to talk with someone for so long you forget about the time, the place and everything else around you save for _that_ person is something else entirely.

When he took her back to his car, his heart swelled to see her so happy. “This might’ve been the best date of my life,” she said lightly, “although I might be quite biased since it was also the only date of my life.”

He glanced over at her, pulling at his seatbelt, impossible to resist the urge to smile like a fool. “Well, you could compare it to more in the future….”

Dany caught on the underlying message, wide eyes locking with his. “What does that mean?”

“Don’t you want to do this again?” His heart stuttered as her smile began to waver.

_Fuck. Had he misread the signals?_

“I told you I don’t date,” she reminded him.

He furrowed his brows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What I said. I can’t have a boyfriend, Jon.”

He licked his lips. “Why, because you have someone else?” he blurted, stupidly, because obviously Dany didn’t seem like someone to cheat—and she just told him this was his first date.

She returned his frown. “No. I told you this was my first date. But we agreed on only one.”

He felt like an idiot. A fool who sucked at taking rejections. So that gut-squeezing feeling of disappointment morphed into anger. “Was it out of pity, then?”

Her mouth parted slightly. “Was what out of pity?”

“You accepting to go out with me,” he snapped. “Was that it? Did you feel bad for me?”

“No.” She sounded both affronted and surprised he’d even say such a thing. “I loved the time we spent today, it was probably the best day I’ve spent in a long while.” She sounded truthful.

He barked out a bitter chuckle, turning away from her. “Sure.”

His sarcastic tone did not go unmissed. For a beat, she didn’t answer and when he chanced a look at her, Jon could see the hurt in her eyes. Her beautiful eyes that he just spent hours staring into; they were shattering in front of him. Her throat worked on a gulp as she muttered, “Sorry.” With that, she left his car.

“Fuck,” he breathed out to himself, ashamed of what just happened. She had every right not to want to go out with him again and he acted like a dick over it. He had half a mind to go after her but he bit back that wish. She probably didn’t want to see him anymore.

+

But she did want to see him.

The next morning when he saw Dany at his university, waiting for him next to his car in the parking lot, Jon didn’t know how to act. He remembered telling her where he went but he didn't expect her to show up here. Didn't expect to see her again, really, after what happened the previous day. His steps slowed but he continued on moving towards her, his dark eyes locked on her pale ones. He clutched at his bag tightly when they stood a few feet apart and he finally came to a stop.

“I accepted your invitation because I like you too,” she said right away, not bothering with a greeting. His heartbeat picked up at her words. “Because being with you makes me happy. _Really_ happy. You don't know how long I haven't felt like that.”

Jon nodded dumbly before he managed to say something back, “I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday. It was dumb.”

“No, it was not. I do owe you an explanation but I don’t know how to tell you.”

Seeing the anguish in her eyes, Jon led her inside his car so they could talk alone. Once locked inside, he turned to her, finding Dany clasping and unclasping her hands nervously. She finally met his eyes. There was something akin to fright in them.

Jon didn’t know what was bothering her but he refused to let it go anymore. There had been too many signs of something being wrong over the weeks and he decided that he had to do something about it. “Talk to me,” he begged. “You can tell me anything.”

“I’m scared,” she mumbled.

Jon’s eyes raked across her features. “Dany, I want to understand you,” he told her sincerely, “but you have to talk to me first.”

She took in a deep breath and exhaled it shakily before she angled her body to face him. “Alright." She seemed to gather her wits before she spoke, "My mother’s death took a toll on my father’s health. He began to deteriorate…mentally. He got fired from his job after throwing a tantrum, he began drinking heavily and sometimes he sees things that are not there.” She paused. “He says he sees my mother and can talk to her. And sometimes I do find him in a room just talking to someone but there’s no one there. The worst thing is he can do it for hours.”

 “Have you tried getting him in therapy?” Jon asked.

“He doesn’t want to,” she answered. “When I try talking to him about it, he accuses me of thinking he’s crazy.”

He sighed, his heart aching for her. “I didn’t know you were going through this at home.” He knew she was taking care of her father, he didn't know what type of care.

She evaded his eyes. “That’s not all,” she whispered and Jon's heart dropped. “Ever since she died he became very protective of me. When I finished school with flying colours, he refused to let me continue my education, afraid I was going to leave him as my mother did. He became paranoid. He wouldn’t let me talk to my friends because once again he thought they’d try to take me away from him. Boys were out of the question entirely. On the worst days of his delusions, he can go as far as locking both of us inside and won’t let me go out at all. He will scream, cry, break things and I will stay in my room waiting until it’s clear.”

The realisation hit Jon like a ton of bricks. “That’s what happened the other day? When you weren’t coming to work?”

Her nod sparked such a fit of anger in him he felt like he needed to hit something as soon as possible.

But her blue eyes lifted to his again and he calmed himself long enough to let her finish. “We started dealing with financial difficulties, though, given that he was fired and didn’t want me out of the house. I managed to convince him to let me find a job but as always, his paranoia took over and he told me that it had to be a part-time one. I went to Olenna because she only needed someone to work in the library in the afternoon so I gladly took the job. It was the best form of distraction I could find away from my house. I’d grown so tired of these four walls, it felt good to talk to people again. I know that sounds crazy but it felt _so_ good to help strangers find books.” Her lips curved in an almost smile. “And then you came along. You were so handsome, the first time I saw you. And all the other times too but that's not the point. I liked talking to you right away…but I knew I couldn’t drag you in this. My father will never let me have a boyfriend.”

The more Jon processed the information, the more furious he got. He couldn't even focus on her telling him that she felt the same way he felt about her. “Dany, that’s not right,” he said, “He’s clearly unwell and is hurting you in the process. You can’t keep doing that.”

“But I owe it to him. He always tells me that I’m the reason my mother died.”

“Then he’s a fucking asshole,” Jon growled. “That’s not true. Look at me. You did not kill your mother.” As Jon slowly joined the pieces together, a new form of dread made its way into his system. _Her sleeves and scarves._ “Does he hurt you?” he asked, voice tight, but he was afraid he already knew the answer.

She gulped. “Not often.”

“Fucking hell,” Jon huffed.

“It only happened a handful of times when he got drunk and I tried suggesting he sought mental help—”

“Don’t,” he hissed, “don’t try to defend _anyone_ hurting you.”

“I’m all he has left,” she told him softly, a single tear falling down her cheek. “He wasn’t like this, Jon. I know deep inside him there’s still my father. If I walk away from him too, it’ll break him completely.”

Jon clenched his teeth as he looked at her. An irrational part of him just wanted her address, wanted to go in there and beat that man to a bloody pulp. And a smaller part of him understood Daenerys’ grief, how she still saw him as her father after all of this. “You can help him,” Jon said, “but if you stay there and do nothing, _you_ are the one who’ll break completely.”

“I can’t leave him.”

“I think you have to,” he insisted. “You’re a brilliant and wonderful woman. You’re meant to do more with your life than live for your father, someone who is hurting you both mentally and physically. I know it’s hard to accept it but he’s not the same man who raised you if he can lay his hand on you now. He’s not your father if he can blame you for his wife’s death.” He couldn’t imagine Ned doing that in a thousand years. The thought of him hurting Arya or Sansa…. An ugly emotion coiled in Jon’s guts. He couldn’t picture _any_ father doing that. "You need to do what's right, for both of you."

He held Dany as she cried. Even if their positions were awkward, he still managed to wrap his arms around her as she wept. “I thought I was doing what's right by staying with him."

"That's not the right thing to do. You're only hurting yourself, enduring the downsides of his illness."

"I’ve never told anyone about it,” she hiccupped against his shoulder. “I-I never had anyone who cared.”

Jon closed his eyes, pressing his mouth against her head. “I care,” he assured her. “I’ll make sure you’re safe now, I promise.”

+

She told him she needed time to think.

While Jon was absolutely not okay with that and did not want her in this house a moment longer, his mind plagued with disgusting thoughts of Dany being hurt, he got where she was coming from. Even leaving an abusive relationship isn’t easy, he could understand why leaving her father, the last family she had left, would be hard.

Still, they exchanged numbers and he made sure to talk to her every night before bed.

“How’re you doing today?” he asked her one night.

“Good. He hasn’t been drinking lately so everything’s calm,” she answered.

The sickening feeling never left Jon though. “Baby, you have to swear you won’t lie to me about anything that happens at home.”

She reassured him, “I’m not lying, Jon, everything is fine for now.”

“And have you thought of it? Of what I told you?”

“Is it right,” she whispered, “to send someone you care for to such a place?”

Jon had to bite his tongue and prevent him from cursing her father, from telling her that he didn’t deserve that but way worse for ever hurting her. Instead, he said, “ _The Night’s Watch_ is meant to help people like him. Think of it that way, Dany, you’re helping your father deal with his suffering and putting an end to your own.”

“I can’t help but feel like I’ve dragged you into this mess.”

“You didn’t,” he replied quickly. “I want to be there for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I care for your wellbeing, because I don't think anyone should be treated the way you're being treated.”

They were both quiet after that and he thought he could fall asleep like this, knowing she was on the other side. Softly, she demanded, “Tell me something happy about your family.”

He smiled. “There’s a dance at Sansa’s school and she bought this really pretty dress. But she fought with Arya today so my little sister cut a hole through the fabric. Sansa screamed so hard during dinner I fear she’s lost her voice by now.”

Dany laughed. “That’s not happy, just mean.”

“But it made you laugh.”

He could almost see her smile if he concentrated enough. “Yes,” she whispered, “you tend to do that.”

“I’ll keep doing it.”

She paused. “Whatever he might’ve become,” she told him suddenly, “I don’t really have anyone else but my father. If he’s gone, how am I going to deal with it?”

“You’ll have me,” he declared. “Dany, do you honestly believe that you deserve what you’re going through? That anyone does? Put someone else there. A random girl. Do you believe anyone deserves to be treated like this by their parent?”

“No,” she answered. More firmly, she repeated, “No.”

Suddenly, he had an idea. “What time are you done with work tomorrow? I think you should come to dine with me. And my family, I mean.”

“What? Are you serious? I can’t accept—”

“Yes, you can. Please think about it.”

“My father knows when I’m supposed to be home, if I’m late then….”

He hated what the words suggested. Gods, if only she’d let him—he would probably murder this man with his bare hands. The dark thought surprised him but it was uncontrollable.

Dany continued, “Though I could have Olenna let me go a bit earlier.”

“Yeah, I’ll even talk to her for you.”

“Are you sure your parents will be okay with that?”

“Yes,” he answered without a flicker of uncertainty. “Yes, they’ll be.”

“Alright then.” She sounded unsure but he reassured her that it would be great.

He was going to show Dany what family meant.

+

As if she couldn’t get more precious in his eyes, she brought along a dress with her. When Jon questioned what that was for, she said, “For Sansa. You told me about her dress being ruined and I felt bad. It’s not much, it’s handmade but maybe she’ll like it.”

For a second, Jon thought his heart might burst in his chest. Despite everything she dealt with, Dany still found it in her to be kind to others. During the entire drive to his house, his mind battled on whether his feelings for her were just a crush or much, much deeper than that. As he laced his fingers with hers and she gave him a tentative smile when they stood in front of his house, he accepted that it was deeper than mere infatuation.

Ned opened the door and grinned. “You must be Dany,” he said.

“Yes.” She extended her arm to him and he gladly took her hand, “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Sansa loved the dress. She was so happy her cheeks turned as red as her hair as she kept thanking Dany, repeating how no one had done such a nice thing for her in a while. She asked if they could be friends and Dany seemed as enthusiastic as she was.

Arya was a little jealous at first. Of Dany or Sansa, Jon couldn’t tell, but eventually, she warmed up to Dany over their love for female heroines. They spent an entire hour talking about superhero movies.

Bran and Rickon weren’t that impressed by Dany (or girls in general for that matter) until she told them, over dinner, that she could make lemon cakes. She’d won over their hearts with that simple sentence as they begged her to come again and bake lemon cakes for them. She promised she would.

Catelyn enjoyed Dany’s company and when Daenerys suggested helping her wash the dishes when they were done eating, Jon’s mother gave him a surprised smile.

Ned and Jon were left alone at the table after dinner. His father cleared his throat. “So…Ygritte?”

Ned had never liked Ygritte. Jon supposed it was understandable given Ygritte’s temper and mannerisms. “We had a fallout,” he admitted.

Ned didn’t bother to hide his satisfied look. “I really like Dany,” he said. “She seems like a lovely girl.” It was rare to obtain his father's approval on anything, lately, so that warmed Jon's chest.

Jon was smiling to himself already. “She is.”

When they finally left his house so he could drop her off home, Dany looked happier than ever. “I love your family,” she said. “They’re so sweet. And Sansa is not at all annoying.”

Jon chuckled. “That’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear.”

When she jokingly hit his chest, Jon captured her hand and gently tugged her closer to him until she was almost pressed against him as he leaned against his car. She looked ethereal under the moonlight, like a princess from one of the stories Sansa used to love as a kid. He wanted to kiss her so badly. “Family don’t hurt each other,” he told her, pushing away the thoughts of kissing her. He needed her safe first, that was his priority.

Understanding filled her eyes. “Right,” she uttered.

Jon brought her hands to his mouth, pressing a kiss on her knuckles. “I won’t leave you him, Dany. You know I can’t. But I need you to make the decision, love.”

She took in a decisive breath. “I’ve made my mind.”

+

He finally knew where she lived. It wasn’t a big house, but not too small either. He could make out the lights that were switched on in the living room, even if the sun hadn’t set completely.

“I’m scared,” Dany breathed out. “He won’t take this well.”

Jon flexed his fingers. “Then I’ll come with you.”

“No. I need to do this alone.” She offered him a little smile. Leaning in, she kissed his cheek, her perfume lingering in the air even as she pulled away. “Thank you.”

He waited. Waited until she was inside, waited through the silence. His stomach was a sea of snakes, venom crawling up his throat at the thought of whatever could be going on behind these four walls.

But when he heard a shout and then the sound of something shattering, he decided he’d waited enough. Caution was thrown out of the window as he made his way to her house. Even if the front door had been locked, he would have found a way to get in. Thankfully that wasn’t the case so he burst in without a care in the world, his mind intent on getting Dany away from this man.

Aerys, her father, looked older than what Jon expected. His hair was not the pretty kind of silver, more like ashes than moonlight. His face was red as he shouted, “You’re leaving me too!”

He didn’t even realise someone had stepped in. But Dany saw Jon and her eyes widened as she shook her head at him. Jon couldn’t bring himself to listen to her this time as he stepped in between them.

The old man’s pale eyes flashed to his as he looked at Jon with both confusion and fury. “Who’s this?” he snarled at his daughter.

“I’m Jon.” Jon didn’t even flinch as the man got into his face, looking like he was ready to fight. “It’d be in your best interests to step away.”

“Is _this_ why you’re leaving me?” Daenerys’ father cried as Jon put an arm between her and the man, refusing to let him even put a finger on Dany again. “You can’t do this! You’re my daughter!” And then his eyes were watering as he sobbed, “You’re all I have left.”

Jon could see why she felt bad for this man, who was obviously broken and had nothing left anymore. He reeked of alcohol, though, and that reminded Jon that he had hurt her before. He couldn’t bring himself to pity her father at that thought, not in the slightest.

Dany tried to speak calmly to him. “You need help. I can’t help you, Dad. I've told you that so many times now.”

“Yes you can! You just have to stay with me!” Aerys cried. “Rhaella, she’s leaving me. She’s leaving me too.” He kept muttering the words to himself, pacing the room frantically.

Jon dropped his voice. “He’s doing worse than I thought,” he told Dany.

“You want me in a mental institution,” her father sneered at them. “You think I’m _crazy_.”

Jon sighed. “She’s giving you the best option here.”

“Oh really? And how do you know?”

“Because I would gladly beat the shit out of you was it not for her stopping me,” Jon growled back. “So take what she offers.”

“Dany, please,” Aerys begged, falling on his knees. The manipulation didn’t work on Jon, though and he kept an arm around Dany securely. “Please. You’re all I have. I don’t want to go. I want to be home with you.”

Jon looked down at Dany, saw the tears on her face, her lower lip trembling as she watched her father. “I’m sorry,” she said, “They’re going to take you tomorrow. I’m doing this for you.”

“He’s turned you against me,” her father stuttered and on wobbly legs, he reached for Jon, fisting his collar. “I’ll kill you for taking her away from me!”

It was easy to detach himself from Aerys. Jon pushed the drunk man away and grabbed Dany’s hand. “I’m not letting you stay here tonight,” he stated.

Dany took in a deep breath and faced her dad. "He didn't take me away from you," she said. "You did that on your own."

Jon walked out with her.

+

“Are you sure your parents are okay with me staying over for the night?”

Jon placed the extra pillows on his bed, nodding to her. She stood at his doorway, looking small and insecure, her hands wrapped around herself. “Haven’t you seen how much they like you?” he asked instead, giving her a slight smile.

His light-heartedness didn’t help. She looked frightened and beaten down, and he wondered how many nights she had to endure this by herself with no one there to tell her that she did not deserve this in the slightest.

“I can sleep on the couch,” he offered quietly.

“No, can you stay with me?” she asked instead.

He nodded.

They got into his bed and Jon found it ironic that the first woman he was bringing home whom he truly liked and cared for was in his bed but not for the right reasons. She was tucked under his covers, silver hair spilling on his white sheets as she curled on herself and he lay next to her, watching her attentively.

The moment her eyes met his, she broke down, her cries quiet. Jon’s heart tore at the sight but he didn’t pull her in until she made the move to shuffle closer herself. At this permission, he tugged her to his chest, letting Dany bury her head there and weep. Her shoulders shook lightly and he draped his arm over her, holding her close to him and cooing sweet nothings in her ear. They fell asleep like that, wrapped up in each other.

***

“Guess who got the best grade for the dissertation?”

Daenerys whirled around, looking surprised to find him. And then her face broke into a grin. “You did?”

He grimaced. “Well, no. But I got the third best.”

She chuckled too. “I’m still proud of you,” she said, dropping the boxes she was carrying to move closer to Jon.

He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her in, smiling at the way her eyes widened. “Stop, Olenna could see,” she hissed.

“She’s busy flirting with that old mailman,” Jon said, “What’s his name again?”

“Tywin?”

“Right. They make quite a pair.”

Dany giggled at that.

It had been two weeks since her father had been sent to the _Night’s Watch._ Until the very end, he stayed upset at it, telling Daenerys that he would never forgive her for leaving him. Jon made sure that she didn’t regret her decision despite her father trying to spin the situation to make her the bad guy. She understood but it didn’t make it any easier.

The first days had been rough. Jon could see it in her eyes, how she often felt regretful and guilty. It was hard to see her like that so he tried his best to be there for her and help her cope with everything. His family’s affections for her were also useful, especially Sansa’s. He didn’t understand how these two became such good friends. But as long as that made her happy, he couldn’t complain.

He smiled at her, “How’re you doing?”

“You ask me that every day,” she noticed, slowly wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I know, baby, and I’m going to ask it every day whether you like it or not.”

She grinned. “I do like it.” On a more serious note, she said, “I visited him yesterday.”

Jon’s arms tensed around her. “Daenerys,” he said, disappointed. “I told you—”

“—that we would go together, I know.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. But you know how he feels about you, I felt he would be calmer if I went alone so I did.”

“And?”

“He’s doing okay, for the most part. Calmer now. He’s on medication already.” A sad look crossed her face. “He still asked me to take him back home.”

Jon rubbed her back soothingly, exhaling. “He’ll get used to it.”

“Am I a bad person—”

“ _No_ ,” he cut her off right away. He hated that she still doubted herself, hated the blameful glint in her eyes. “You’re not a bad person.”

Her eyes dropped from him. “I’m sorry. I feel like I just annoy you.”

Jon tilted her face back up, cupping her cheek in his right hand. She leaned into his touch and he smiled. “A lot of things annoy me,” he told her, pressing a sound kiss on her forehead. “But you’re not one of them.”

Her cheeks flushed at his words and she pressed herself closer to Jon, seeming to enjoy his embrace. Her eyes roamed around his face, settling on his mouth for a second. His heart gave a dangerous thud. They’d been close to kissing many a time now and _fuck_ did he want to but Dany was dealing with so much already and he felt like she only needed someone to rely on, someone who cared for her, somebody she could trust. He didn’t want to use this fragile state she was in against her. He wanted her to _want_ to be with him when she was sure of it.

But now she was regarding him with _something_ in her eyes. He swallowed, his own gaze dropping to her lips. She swiped her tongue across them and he almost groaned at the sight, he wanted to be the one doing that.

Dany gave him a final push, pulling his head down by the hand that was curled around his neck. He gave in eagerly, pressing his mouth against hers. Her sigh of pleasure flooded him with warmth. It was a soft and delicate kiss, nothing passionate or sensual about it. But having her mouth against his was making his head spin, his heart close to bursting. She tasted of something sweet and minty and he wanted to drown in that flavour until he couldn’t breathe.

She pulled away shortly after, her cheeks rosier, her breathing pattern uneven. “Was that bad?”

“I don’t know, I’d have to test that again,” he joked and pulled her in for a deeper kiss.

***

One month had passed when Jon drove to her house one day, a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine in hands. He rang the doorbell and waited for his girlfriend to open the door. Dany stood in front of him in a pretty red dress, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. She looked…better now. Healthier. Her cheeks were chubbier than they had been when he first saw her, her eyes livelier. Oh, and she ditched her long-sleeved dresses for shorter summer dresses to fit the season.

When she first showed Jon a bruise she had on her upper arm, he had been _that_ close to snapping—he wanted nothing more but to drive to where Aerys was and rip his head off. Many hours later he calmed down, with Dany’s soothing words, touches and kisses. He’d never felt this protective over anyone in his life and he swore, from that day, that he would _never_ let her know any form of pain again.

With her father no longer around to stop her from doing things for herself, Dany decided that she wanted new experiences. She’d always wanted to learn new languages so she took up an online course for _High Valyrian_  while also signing up for a cooking class on the weekends. Jon was happy to hear her stories about the new people she met and friends she made from that class and how much better she seemed now, able to discover the world around her without anyone holding her back.

He was falling more and more in love with the passionate woman Daenerys was. Her kind heart, breath-taking smiles and open-mindedness were easy things to love about her. Dany was easy to love, it came almost naturally to him. She made him want to be better. He hadn't touched a cigarette for almost two whole weeks now, which was not a  _lot_ but still more progress than he had made in a long while. All of that just because he did not want to disappoint her.

He only had to be brave enough to admit that he loved her _to_ her now.

Dany smiled at the sight of him.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he said and she crossed the distance between them, grabbing the flowers and planting a kiss on his lips.

Jon didn’t let her pull away, placing his hands on her waist to move her closer to him. He felt her smile against his mouth as he traced his tongue on her lips and she opened her mouth to him, welcoming the slide of his tongue against hers.

She made a sound in the back of her throat and pulled away. “Come in,” she whispered. “I made cupcakes.”

Jon sighed. “It’s your birthday and you’re the one cooking.”

“Well, I have to put my new cooking skills to the test.” She gave him one last peck before pulling him in her house.

He planned to take her out tonight but she insisted that she wished to spend her birthday with him—at home. Jon didn’t care, frankly, he only wished to make her happy.

“I got you something.”

She turned to him, frowning. “Jon, I told you no gifts.”

“And I didn’t listen,” he answered cheekily. “Here.” He took out the little box and placed it on her palm.

She met his eyes questioningly and he gave her an encouraging nod. Finally she opened it, breath hitching as she discovered the necklace inside. Her fingers brushed over the blue rose embedded in the front as a beautiful smile appeared on her face. _That_ was what he wished to see. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “But I can’t accept it—”

“Nonsense, you can and you will.” He didn’t hear more of it, grabbed the necklace and asked her to turn around.

She chuckled, shaking her head at him. He gathered her loose curls and placed them all over one shoulder so he could put the necklace on. When he clipped it in place, he pressed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. Dany shuddered underneath him and he smiled.

She turned to face him and it wasn’t a surprise that the necklace suited her just as well as he knew it would. “You’re beautiful,” he told her.

“You’ve already done so much for me,” she said, “you didn’t need to buy me anything.”

“I didn’t need to, but I wanted to,” he answered and kissed her, long and sweet.

“Before I’m distracted again,” she huffed against his mouth, “let’s go eat.”

***

They lay on her bed at night, after they watched a bunch of cheesy romantic comedies, ate dinner and drank wine together. He praised her on her cooking and she rolled her eyes good-naturedly, saying he was biased, but he genuinely found the food delicious. Dany was still not used to receiving compliments and  _accepting_ them but Jon wouldn't stop, he'd make sure she will learn to love herself the way he loved her. Jon was exhausted and content when night fell, holding Dany to his chest as they talked.

“Did you go see him yesterday?” he asked, knowing she did every week.

“Yeah. I thought he was improving until he told me my mother apparently said that I was a monster for leaving him there.”

Jon let out a long, exhausted breath. “He’s not well. Making things up because he knows what gets to you,” he told her.

“I know,” she murmured. “Can I tell you something?”

He hummed, gently massaging her scalp as she rested her head on top of his heart. “If I didn’t have you, I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with those past weeks,” she said softly. “You’re so good to me, Jon. And your family…they accept me like I’m one of you guys. I’ve never felt this before. Like I could belong somewhere. But I feel like that when I'm with you. Thank you, I wouldn’t know how to deal with any of this were it not for you.”

He was sure she must be feeling how his heartbeat picked up at her words. What she couldn’t know, however, was how much it meant to him that she was feeling better. And that he was managing to make it easier for her. Suddenly, he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore. “Dany, I think I’m in love with you.”

She lifted her head, warm eyes locking onto his. “You think?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

“Well, good, because I feel the same way but I needed someone with more experience to confirm it.”

He laughed. “I may have experience with girls but none of them were like you,” he informed her quietly. “None of them made me feel like you.”

Adoration filled her eyes and – something more. She sat up, determined. “Jon,” she said in a breathy whisper, “Make love to me.”

He struggled to breathe for a second. “A-are you sure that’s what you w—”

“ _Yes_.”

Her wish was his command.

He’d been dreaming of this moment for so long now that he had to make sure it lasted, even if he knew there would be more. Still, he kissed her slowly, exploring her mouth with his tongue and remembering every whine and moan that he swallowed. He learned where she liked to be bitten and licked; that sweet spot on her neck, the jut of her collarbone, the top of her breasts…

He undressed her attentively, his lips mapping every inch of her porcelain skin. She was a canvas and his mouth the pain that drifted across it, intent on not leaving a bit blank. He was aware she’d been hurt in the past and made sure he was as gentle as one could be with his touches and kisses.

She deserved to know nothing but pleasure, he thought as he wrapped his lips around a nipple and she let out a loud gasp. She deserved nothing but love—and he would give her a lifetime of it if she’d allow him.

He was quick to understand her body. When his mouth was on her cunt, it was easy to tell where she needed his tongue the most from the way her fingers tightened their grip in his hair and her thighs closed around his ears. When he lapped at her clit, she screamed his name so loud her entire neighbourhood probably heard it. It was intoxicating, being suffocated by her, until she was all he could see, smell and hear. He loved every fucking second of it.

“Is this okay, baby?” he asked when he slid inside of her.

He was worried for her hiss of pain. Her face contorted for a moment and he bent down to kiss her, all over her face, whispering sweet words in her ear.

“Yes,” she gasped when she adjusted to him, lifting her hips to encourage him to move.

They made love through the night, sweet and slow, sometimes fast and desperate. When she collapsed on top of him at some point, breathing heavily, her heartbeat in sync with his, he knew for sure that he loved her and that there was nothing more he desired than spending the rest of his life intertwined with her like this, washing the horrors of everything she endured away with loving words breathed into her ear.

***

A year later, things had changed for the better. Aerys' health was improving drastically and he apologised to Dany for whatever harm he might have caused her. He acknowledged that he still needed mental help and Dany, unsurprisingly, found it in her to forgive her father. Their relationship was not perfect but it was becoming stable, slowly but surely. 

Dany was still working at  _The Wall_ while also taking her cooking classes. She was working to open her own pastry shop, a dream that Jon fully supported. Just like she absolutely supported him in beginning his teaching career, something Ned was still having a hard time getting used to. 

On one bright sunny afternoon, Jon walked through the front door of the library, the familiar bells now a happy sound for him. 

He walked up to Olenna. "You have it?" he asked quietly, making sure Dany couldn't see him. She was nowhere to be seen yet so he had to make this quick. 

Olenna nodded and ducked under her desk before putting what he needed on the table top. Jon's heart did a funny flip in his stomach. The book.  _A Dance with Dragons._

"Good luck, Snow." Olenna winked at him. 

Jon nodded, breathing in deeply. He could do this. 

He grabbed the book and went to look for Dany. 

Jon was taken aback to see Daenerys  _and_ Sansa sitting at a table in the back, deep in discussion. 

He cleared his throat and his girlfriend looked up, welcoming him with that striking smile he could lose himself in for an eternity. She got up and kissed him chastely on the lips and Jon flipped Sansa off when she faked a gag behind them. "Baby," he said as he pulled away. "You look gorgeous today."

His sister huffed. "God, I hate couples!"

This was a new stage that Sansa was going through - where she hated everything and everyone. Except for Dany, apparently, since these two were still close friends. 

"Why's she here?" Jon asked, glaring at Sansa who grimaced at him.

"She needed help," Dany said, eyes twinkling at him, "with a boy."

"Daenerys!" Sansa gasped. "Why'd you tell him?"

Dany laughed, kissing Jon's cheek. "Well, I don't lie to your brother about anything. And he'd find out soon enough anyway."

"Ugh, whatever." Sansa rolled her eyes.

"I just feel bad for whatever guy she likes, to be honest," Jon jested. 

His red-haired sister narrowed her eyes at him, hitting him on the shoulder as she went out. 

Dany chuckled, turning to him. "Would it kill you to be nice to her every now and then?" she asked.

"Yes," he deadpanned. And then his heart lurched again, remembering what he came here to do. "Dany...I have something for you."

She looked down. Blinked. "A book," she stated, amused.

"Not just any book," he pressed.

"Oh, I remember. That was the book you asked me for the first time we met."

"Yes."

"And?"

He sighed, growing frustrated. "Just...open it."

Dany raised a brow at him but complied. When she found what was inside, a loud gasp spilled from her lips. Jon dropped to one knee. 

She looked down at him, her eyes wide and full of emotions. 

"This was the cheesiest way I knew how to ask it," he said, heart beating wildly in his chest, "But Dany, I've loved you for a while now. Maybe a year is not  _too_ long in some people's dictionaries, maybe it's because they need more than that to know if they've found the right person but I don't care. I know it's you. I know there'll never be anyone else but you. I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life making you smile and happy, I want to spend the rest of my days learning from your kindness and generosity. You always say that I saved you but I think it's the other way around. You've taught me so much in the time we've been together and I want us to keep learning from one another, for however long there is. I don't know what else to say, you know I'm no bleeding poet, but...will you marry me?"

She laughed through her tears, shaking her head at him. "I love you so much," she said and sobbed. 

He found his own eyes were getting a little damp. "That doesn't really answer my ques-"

"Yes,  _yes._ I'll marry you."

He slipped the ring on her finger and she was in his arms the next moment, her mouth dropping on his for a kiss that he would never forget, for it was the beginning of something beautiful. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, AH, modern au's - i've missed you. i'm glad to see that the fandom has started loving modern jonerys more now, although it happened under unfortunate circumstances. but don't worry, at least here d&d can't hurt us. 
> 
> and secondly, this is a *completed work* and i will upload the two other parts in the next 2 to 3 days, it just felt overwhelming to edit the whole thing so i broke it down in three parts. the next two chapters are considerably longer than this. 
> 
> lastly, please let me know your thoughts! thank you.


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